lunes, agosto 21, 2006

¿Es así o es mi televisor?


No puede ser casualidad. No todos mis amigos tienen su televisor malo. No todos tienen mala recepción. "Ay, capaz es que se ve mal por Supercable". Pero yo tengo DirecTV, y se ve igual de mal. No entiendo a La Tele.

Hubo una época en la que me hizo pensar que ya me estaban fallando los sentidos. Todo se ve blanco, lavado. Como cuando le das tu franela negra favorita a la "señora de servicio" (llamémosla así, para que no digan) y le echa lejía, cloro o lo que sea. Así veo a La Tele. Me deja pensando si es que a todos en ese canal les hace falta un buen bronceado, o hay mucha luz. Me deja pensando que todos son ciegos o tienen retinitis y usan lentes oscuros, y por eso no ven lo que yo veo.

El sonido es mejor, je. Pareciera una llamada a un pana que te dice "estoy ocupado", cuando en realidad está metido en un baño haciendo cosas que jamás quisiera enterarme. El eco es increíble. Lo contradictorio es que al mismo tiempo se oye saturado, como si todos estuvieran casi babeando la balita o el micrófono de turno de lo cerca que lo tienen.

¿Sólo yo lo veo así de mal? Y si todos lo ven así, ¿por qué nadie dice nada?

¿Los dueños del canal lo ven y dicen: "Coño, se ve bien de pinga"?

Loco puedo estar, pero aún veo y oigo bien. Y La Tele ni se ve, ni se oye bien.

Y yo que pensaba que Venezolana de Televisión era insuperable en "calidad" de transmisión...

43 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Coño pana, no estas loco, La Tele debe ser un invento del imperio messsssmo para vender televisores nuevos.

Pero algo si debo decirte al respecto: ¿Que coño haces viendo La Tele? ¿Hay algo de interés en ese canal?

Tambien te pasas de ocioso Manuel, jajajaja

Feicitaciones por el blog. Estaremos pendientes de leerlo y agregarlo a los favoritos.

Anónimo dijo...

Coño, pana, justamente hoy estuve averiguando sobre el significado de un neologismo anglosajon: "camp". Aun no se definirlo exactamente, pero La Tele es un refugio del camp en Venezuela. En lo personal deseo que nunca desaparezca. Es como una ventana del tiempo hacia la epoca de la tijerita, el papel de fieltro y la cartulina que ya mas nunca viviré. El peo de la lluminacion creo que es porque nunca han hecho la transicion del analogico al digital, pero igual quiero que sigan asi para siempre. Es cute.

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Quizas el programas mas veces repetido por dia de la historia de la TV. Lo pasan en la madrugada, en la tarde, de noche, de mañanita. Es una doña que hace tortas y manualidades. De tanto verla me está gustando, ademas la doña cada vez se viste mas pava a pesar de su rictus amargado.

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Una version de bajisimo presupuesto de clasicos como YOU'RE DISMISSED. Ponen a un carajo y una caraja a conocerse a traves de un carton piedra (literalmente). Al final ellos deciden si quieren ver o no a la persona detras del carton piedra. Me gusta porque las chamas reflejan la belleza real de la chama venezolana, son ranchos sexys, aunque quizas el problema es que a mi me gusta de todo.

CONOCEME
Un periodista que se le tira de pavo que hace entrevistas en la mañana. El carajo empezo con lentes de montura y ahora usa de contacto. Es mas tieso que un muerto, casi no tiene movilidad facial.

MAZINGER ZETA. Sin comentarios.

HABLEMOS DEL SEXO FUERTE.
Ver los escotes de Jeniree Blanco. Todavia se defiende.

Hay un nuevo programa en el que leen periodicos en la mañana. Odio los programas en donde leen periodicos, creo que es la anti television. Pero tienen que ver esta escenografia con papeles periodicos pegados en las paredes. Es fabulosa.

Como decia la cancion de la Pequeña Lulu: no crezcas, no cambies jamas, La Tele.

Manuel De Oliveira dijo...

yo estoy en la misma onda, Alexis. La Tele es el refugio de la televisión que veía de chamito. Nunca me metí con el contenido, porque es realmente divertido.

Mi programa favorito es Zúmbate. Una vez vi a una chama que pesaba unos 120 kilos con un manganzón al lado, desempleado, sin estudios y que era "cantante" de salsa. Evidentemente, era una mierda cantando, era echón, galán y baboso. Lo siento por la chama gordita, que aunque no era una lumbrera, no se merecía semejante paquete.

El programa es lo máximo. No hay moderador, sólo un carajo en voz omnisciente que habla antes y después de los cortes, y luego pregunta, con voz de Club de los Tigritos, si se quieren conocer.

Ojalá nunca lo cancelen. Ayuda notablemente a mis abdominales.

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Bueno, debo reconocer que el programa que no puedo dejar de ver todos los días es "El fogón de Kike".

Todos los mediodías este ¿actor? ¿humorista? ¿Cocinero? hace unas recetas "chupis" -como el mismo dice- y baila disco music.

Ni Dino, ni Angel Lozano, ni nadie ha podido (ni podrá) superar la "chispa" de este maracucho.

Y si se despiertan un sábado con el ánimo bajo, les recomiendo 15 minutos de "Alo mi pueblo" con el gobernador Acosta Carles haciendo una excelente parodia de Hugo Rafael en su "Alo presidente".

Que buen actor cómico este Acosta Carles, lastima que los demás medios privados no le brindaran el chance en Radio Rochela, Bienvenidos o Que Locura.

Anónimo dijo...

todo se ve mal en supercable

la tele es la extension televisiva de aquel blog johnnyochentoso que anda por ahi

Anónimo dijo...

hola buenas noches, cero que la tele es un canal muy balurdo, la programacion es mala pobre gente que trabaja alli deben ser muy tristes.
con respecto a los programas todos son malos pero creo que el peor es el de Jenire blanco, donde demuestra que ella es el sexo debil lo que hace es leer las chuletas y mostrar las tetas y las piernas, tiene buenas invitadas pero ella es muy mala se quedo en al epoca de las noticias, ademas me entere de un chisme que fue por muchos años la amante del mismisimo ELADIO LARES.
Otro programa muy malo es Zumbate, estoy de acuerdo con un pana que dijo que las chamas son ranchos sexy`s jajaja, feasas las muchachas, como dice un pana HORRENDASSSSS,
chao otro dia te escribo Manu

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